文／邱斐顯
大家都在祝賀自己的「女性」親友，母親節快樂。我也是。
我想對一位作者，潔伊．鮑許，說一聲「母親節快樂」！
不久前，我剛看完潔伊．鮑許所寫的書，
《最後的演講永不完結－－送別蘭迪，擁抱新夢想》。
我可以理解潔伊：在照顧蘭迪．鮑許的那兩年，從蘭迪得知罹患胰臟癌（2006年），到臨終（2008年）之際，身心所面臨到的種種巨大壓力；我由衷佩服潔伊：必須兼顧妻子、媽媽、護士等多重角色，耗盡心力地與時間、體力搏鬥的煎熬。
我，也曾經是癌症患者（1997年底，急性前骨髓性白血病，血癌）。我非常清楚化療階段的辛苦與無奈，我也知道，當家中有稚齡子女亟需照顧而偏偏又人手不足時的困境。當年，我的丈夫，江蓋世，也是一邊陪著我抗癌，一邊調整家庭的生活作息。當時，他身為一個民意代表（台北市議員），每天都有忙不完的公事。我生病住院，我們不得不請專職看護來照顧我。為了我們的稚齡女兒（當時她才1歲半），我們擔心、憂慮，討論很久，才想出安置她的對策。
潔伊小我兩歲。她不僅要照顧罹癌的丈夫（專職看護），還要分身乏術照顧三個稚齡子女（從大到小，分別是5歲、3歲，和1歲）。她的時間、體力都不夠用。她沒辦法有替代人手，無論是重病的丈夫，或是年幼的子女。親友分別前來幫忙，卻又打亂了一家人的作息與生活品質。
我做化療期間，很多朋友伸出援手，要我先生帶著女兒去和同年齡的玩伴相處，一來減輕大人的壓力，二來也讓幼兒的生活有變化。我們曾經造訪陳永興醫師的家，讓她們兩個相差一、兩歲的小小孩玩在一起。還有好幾位朋友，也主動邀請我們帶小孩去他們府上……
我很幸運，抗癌的路走得雖然辛苦，然而過程中，幸而有名醫（陳耀昌醫師）相救，也幸而有新藥研發成功，以及家人愛心與耐心的支持，讓我度過了種種難關。蘭迪與潔伊的抗癌之路，走得比我辛苦太多了。潔伊一路自己苦撐。當我讀到她為了帶心愛的丈夫去離家很遠的醫院治療，又要擔心三個小小孩因父母親不在身邊時的各種狀況；甚至到最後，夫妻兩人討論是否讓年幼的子女（7歲、5歲和3歲）參加蘭迪的告別式，我都會忍不住掉下淚來。
2012年，潔伊把她的心路歷程寫成這一本《最後的演講永不完結－－送別蘭迪，擁抱新夢想》，也分享給許多有過相同或類似經驗的家屬。透過寫書與演講，她才能走出傷痛。
母親節快樂，潔伊．鮑許！
邱斐顯，《想為台灣做一件事》作者。
延伸閱讀：
Happy Mother’s
Day, Jai Pausch.
By Felicity Chiu, May 10, 2015.
Many people wish
their female friends “Happy Mother’s Day.” Me, too.
Furthermore, I
would like to say, Happy Mother’s Day, to an author, Jai Pausch.
A few days ago, I
just finished reading the book “Dream New
Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss,” which was written by Jai Pausch,
and published in 2012.
I understood how
difficult it was while Jai had the huge pressure during the time Randy knew he
got pancreatic cancer in 2006 and died in 2008. Jai needed to be a wife, a
mother of three little kids, and a caregiver to her husband Randy at the same
time. It consumed all her energy and run out of all her time.
I had had the chemotherapy
after the doctor told me that I got leukemia, acute promyelocytic leukemia, in
December of 1997. I totally understood the uncomfortable condition as I was a
patient then. And I realized the difficulty while we had to take care of a
little kid under two years old. My husband, a Taipei City Councilor at that
time, helped me to reset our family lifestyle. We decided to get a specific
caregiver in the hospital. We worried and discussed several times about how to
take care of our little girl when I stayed in the hospital.
Jai is two years
younger than I. She has not only to take care of her husband as a full-time
caregiver, but also to take care of three little children under than 5 years
old. She could hardly have any break in her life time under this circumstance. Even
their relatives came to help her and stayed with her, the family lost their quality
of life.
I am lucky enough
to be saved by a good doctor, a new remedy in time, and full support from the
family. The way to fight against cancer for Randy and Jai is much more
difficult. Most of the time, Jai had to faced it alone. When I learned that she
needed to take Randy out of town for treatment by herself and she also worried
about her three little children at the meantime, even they discussed whether
their little children attended the farewell ceremony or not, I shed tears. How
brave Jai Pausch was.
Jai Pausch needed
to write down her deep emotion about her loss in the past few years. And the
book, “Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My
Life After Loss,” which was published in 2012.
Happy Mother’s
Day, Jai Pasusch.
Felicity Chiu
Links
about Randy Pausch and Jai Pausch :
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
